Good day to you, Woozens.
Today, I must say, is your lucky day. It is not everyday that one gets to make the acquaintance of one the best and most-skilled warlocks of all time.
And with that... I am Merlin.
Yes, that Merlin. Save the applause, please.
I know you probably have about a thousand questions for someone of my intelligence, talent and fame and, under normal circumstances, I would love to answer them. Today, however, I will not be answering questions. I will be telling you the long and, at times, twisted tale of myself and my inferior brother... Squirlin.
First things first, Squirlin has always been jealous of me. Since we were young warlocks, he's tried (unsuccessfully) to upstage me. He constantly mimicked me, but of course, could never replicate my magic, as I have always been a far superior wizard. He complained that I had the better robes, wands, cauldrons, name.
Though he was an annoyance for much of my life, I can't blame him for being so jealous of me. I mean... I AM Merlin, after all. Perhaps I did have better robes, wands and cauldrons, but I deserved them, being so talented. Also, Merlin is a MUCH better name than Squirlin (it isn't even a real name), but I can't help that he so resembled a rodent when he was born.
Anyway, I digress.
Though we never saw eye-to-eye (unless he stood on tip-toe,) we did try to work together. Alas, the tension was too great and eventually we decided to go our own separate ways. I would stay on my side of Mystic Alley and Squirlin on his. This separation was good for us. Dare I say, we even came to respect one another (from a distance.)
This all changed when I made the discovery.
My brother, my own flesh and blood, had begun to dabble in Cursed Magic. Because he could never match my skill, power, raw talent, Squirlin turned to the darkest of arts. I tell you, Woozens, Cursed Magic is not to be toyed with. Not even I, the greatest warlock of all time, would dare to dabble. Imagine my reaction when I discovered my younger, inferior, rodent-like brother was practicing Cursed Magic! I knew I had to put a stop to it.
I decided to confront him. I knew it wouldn't be easy, so I went equipped with my very best spells and enchantments. What came next could never have been predicted.
During our confrontation, words were exchanged... Words that cannot be taken back (I regret nothing.) After the words... Spells. I'm not clear how or why it happened, but Squirlin emerged in the form of the very rodent that inspired his name... A squirrel. Shocked, appalled and undoubtedly humiliated, Squirlin immediately left.
I have not seen my brother since.
Though magic is undeniably harder for him as a squirrel, I have no doubt that he continues to practice Cursed Magic. Though he is of average skill at best, he is very dangerous. I urge you, Woozens, to stay away from that rodent-man beast at all costs. I do not know what he is capable of (though it is, of course, less than what I am capable of), especially with his newfound squirrel reflexes and rage.
Do not fall for the fluffy tail or pointed ears, for within that adorable exterior, there lies a dark, twisted, albeit mediocre, wizard.
You have been warned.
[TL;DR: Merlin rules. Squirlin drools (and does Cursed Magic.)]