September 21, 2014
Creator of the Woozworld-famous Slop Surprise, Mrs. Neon is proud of her cooking – and won’t stand for anyone saying otherwise. One wrong word and NO SLOP FOR YOU. A party girl in her younger days, Mrs. Neon retains a dash of her trademark bright colors in her lunch-lady uniform. Our reporter, LilyWooz, caught up with Mrs. Neon after the lunch rush.
LilyWooz: Hello, Mrs. Neon. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me to discuss the mysterious eventz of GoodOldWooz’s disappearance.
Mrs. Neon: You better be quick, this kitchen won’t clean itself.
LW: Could you tell our readers what you know about that night at Woozworld High?
MN: What’s it to you? Who sent you? I’m clearly busy and don’t have time for your nonsense. I was short-staffed during the lunch rush and my beautiful slop is everywhere! Do you KNOW how much time and effort I, MRS. NEON, spend on making that?
LW: Um, can’t say that I do, but I’m sure it’s delicious as a result. Did GoodOldWooz come to the cafeteria often?
MN: That lunatic! Is this on record? Can I make it off record? How? Is it voice activated? Well off record… he is the worst. He comes in here acting all, “mighty,” like, does he KNOW who I am? He orders my award-winning slop and then I overhear him saying , and I quote, my slop was… “average” to that History teacher, Ms. Ape. UM, NO HE BETTER DON’T! And not just that, but the big oaf ALWAYS leaves a mess at his table and never cleans it. EVERY. DAY. He leaves a paper with “Thank you very much” written on it with a smiley face. Pick up your garbage, fool!
LW: Aw, that seems kinda nice actually. But you have no idea as to his behavior on the night that he disappeared? Because Janitor Beex told me you informed him that something had happened to poor GoodOld so he could investigate his lab.
MN: NICE?! You think it’s nice to put ME to work and clean up a mess from an adult?! You have some nerve, child! Janitor Beex sent you? GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!
LW: But how did you know something had happened to GoodOldWooz?
MN: Oh my god, can we stop talking about GoodOldWooz and focus on important matters? Like me?!
LW: Um, OK. Do you have any suspects in the case?
MN: Your question should be, do I care?
LW: A man’s Woozlife could be at risk! Do you have any information?
MN: Well, that musclehead Mr. Shopz was embarrassed by GoodOldWooz. The old man chucked a dodgeball at his face! It really cracked me up, haven’t let him live it down.
LW: You seem to really dislike GoodOldWooz. Did you have anything to do with his disappearance?
MN: ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS? HA! Ain’t nobody got time for your silly accusations! How could I do anything with that ogre when, I Mrs, Neon, have to prep all the food for the next day? Maybe he will learn to clean up his own mess, if he comes back. Now, get out out of my kitchen!