Suspect: Lady Wooz – Updated!
  • September 23, 2014

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An A-list celebrity, who prefers not to be named, has come forward to confirm that Lady Wooz was working with her on the night of GoodoldWooz’s disappearance, and couldn’t have committeed the crime. So who kidnapped Woozworld’s grandpa? Keep hunting for the answer to this Pretty Little Mystery!

ladywoozLady Wooz, Woozworld High’s fashion teacher, is known throughout Woozworld for her spotless sense of style. She’s rumored to have taught fashion expert MyaWooz everything she knows! Our reporter, LilyWooz, met the impeccably-dressed Lady Wooz at the local coffeehouse to ask her a few questions. Of course, Lady Wooz does not drink the “mediocre” coffee served there, and sent her assistant to fetch a triple-grande no-whip, no-foam, extra hot almond-milk latte with 2 ice cube from YetiBüx.

LilyWooz: Hello, Lady Wooz. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me to discuss the mysterious eventz of GoodOldWooz’s disappearance.

Lady Wooz: Billy, please refrain from talking my ear off until I’ve had at least a sip of caffeine to enable me to withstand your barrage of sordid questions. This whole affair is so low-class I could scream.

Lily: Um sorry Lady Wooz, it’s “Lily.”

Lady Wooz: And your outfit… who let you walk out of the house like that? Knee socks and Mary Janes are meant to be outgrown when a girl is old enough to run around town without a nanny in tow.

Lily: Well, I…

Lady Wooz: Where is Rebecca with my latte? I’m starting to get very disappointed.

Lily: Can we…

Lady Wooz: Not until my latte is here, Billy.

We waited 15 minutes for her assistant, Rebecca, to bring the latte.

Lady Wooz: Rebecca, finally. Did you get lost?

Assistant: Excuse me, Lady Wooz, but my name is…

Lady Wooz: Rebecca, what was the order?

Assistant: A triple-grande no-whip, no-foam, extra hot almond-milk latte with 2 ice cubes

Lady Wooz: And why, Rebecca, are there no ice cubes? It’s quite a simple task that even the newest of Woozens could comprehend.

Assistant: Sorry Lady Wooz, I…

Lady Wooz: That’s all.

Lily: Um, yes, well, getting back to the subject, what can you tell our readers about what happened that night?

Lady Wooz: If you must know the details of my private life, I was sketching an outfit for an A-list celebrity. That, Billy, is all I’m willing to say.

Lily: Did you know GoodOld very well?

Lady Wooz: Well, I always try to keep my distance from walking fashion disasters, but I’m quite good friends with his wife, NonaWooz. In fact, I designed her Woozcarz dress. It was absolutely lovely. ALMOST as heavenly as the gown I wore to the Woozcarz, but, of course, her oaf of a husband had to go and step on my train. The horror!

Lily: Well that’s quite a convincing reason to kidnap.

Lady Wooz: Are you mad? I’m done. Go bother that teacher Mr. Preztige. It’s a fact that GoodOld would get majority of the school’s funding if he succeeded with his time-travelling contraption. That baboon needs to be arrested for his crime against fashion, not kidnapped!

Lily: But I’m not done ju…

Lady Wooz: That’s all.